Best Buys

RENOVATOR: The quick Christmas house makeover, originally published in The Australian Women’s Weekly, December 2005

By Alex May

Dear Santa
Please can I sit on your lap and ask you some questions.

Does your sleigh have enough capacity to deliver the Christmas present list that my children, four-year-old Captain Costume and his sidekick brother Cuddleboy have devised?
Can you save my sanity when my sister-in-law, her husband and their five kids from Perth come to stay for three nights?
Why was I stupid enough to say “yes” to hosting Christmas lunch for 25 people?

Santa, please help a frazzled working mother who wants to impress relatives with Martha Stewart-esque stylish interiors. Also want to ensure everyone has a lovely Christmas Day without ever realizing how stressful the entire gig was for me.
Regards, Alex

Dear Alex
Santa’s good at pressies, not domestics. Please see letter from my close personal friend.
Love, Santa
PS: Captain Costume’s request for a Buzz Lightyear suit AND a Ninja Turtle costume will be denied on the basis that he already has far too many polyester outfits.

Dear Alex
The Domestic Fairy is here. Santa asked me to drop you a note to remind you Christmas isn’t a time of stress. It is a time of goodwill, cheer and love.
I did you the good favour of calling up someone who makes houses look magazine-perfect. Interiors stylist Megan Morton is a dab hand at making houses look, well, better than yours. She says it takes half a day to transform a house from crumpled and rumpled to stylish and lovely.
The key is to de-clutter. Not just your normal tidying, my love, but a good clear-up. Megan suggests tidying up all the signs of real life: the TV guide, the ironing basket, the remote controls, the calendar, the unpaid bill reminders. Put all those nasty drudgerous things away until after Christmas. Edit out the real life so you can get yourself in the zone to enjoy the holidays.
Melbourne-based interior decorator Pauline Forde offers her own tips for an efficient Christmas clean-up: simply take all papers, mess, CDs you hate listening to and store them in those neat paper carrier bags that some stores still give out. Stash everything under the bed until you have time to sort it out after Christmas.
Once the de-clutter is done, have Captain Costume and Cuddleboy help decorate a Christmas tree. Do beware of over-zealous application of baubles at a height below 1.2m. Help from taller people is a must during family tree-decorating moments. Ensure treasured home-made Christmas ornaments have pride of place, even if they don’t match the colour scheme.
The glamourous Pauline suggests keeping Christmas colour schemes simple. Silver and white is her favourite. She also says you can create your own home-made tree by filling a heavy ceramic vase with curly twigs and tying on your own glass and silver baubles. Simply pop it on a lamp table and surround it with gifts. Megan’s decorating tip includes placing Christmas wreathes in unexpected places like the top of the stairs and on the pantry door. With tips like these, who needs Martha Stewart and her jailbird ways?
When many guests descend on your humble home, it’s best to have your welcoming face on. Don’t ever let on how frazzled you really are. Not all guests expect their own bedroom, and most houses can’t easily squeeze in five kids plus parents. Put as many children as possible into one bedroom. They don’t mind the cram. Give adults as much room as space permits. If you don’t have a guest room for your sister, screen off an area behind a sofa to create a space. Buy some adhesive Velcro dots and attach some to the ceiling and the rest to a large sheet to create a makeshift screen.
Give your visitors their own towel and handsoap, just like a hotel would. Go one step further and leave them a street directory, a bus timetable and a spare set of house keys. That might encourage them to be out of the house as much as possible, thereby minimizing the risk of them finding you crying into your tea towel.
Now, for the big day of Christmas feasting. Feeding large groups of people is difficult. Where to get a table big enough? Sometimes merging an outdoor table setting with your indoor dining setting will create enough space. You can hire trestle tables from catering companies and set something up in the backyard. Or you could choose to serve the meal buffet style on a large central table and allow your guests to mingle and find a seat somewhere in the house. Just make sure there are enough seats for everyone. Uncle John does not want to have to resort to the toilet seat to eat his turkey.
Megan suggests banning the idea of a kids’ table and allow grown-ups and children to eat together and enjoy Christmas. I don’t think Megan has seen Captain Costume and Cuddleboy eat recently. However, to avoid too much adult-children contact, try organizing a kids’ game of backyard cricket while the adults indulge in Christmas cocktails on the front verandah.
Oh, Alex. I do hope these tips help you to remember what Christmas is all about. Just try to get someone else to do the dishes this year.
Lots of love, the Domestic Fairy

A QUICK CHRISTMAS HOUSE MAKEOVER

* A Christmas clean-up is in order. Put everything that you don’t use away – mess is easily stored in boxes or bags and put in the garage until Christmas capers are over. Stash mess now. Sort it later.

* Sugar soap is your friend. No need to bother with a new paint job, just clean your grubby living room and kitchen walls. Transform the exterior of your house by scrubbing the façade with a hard-bristled broom and a bucket of water with sugar soap in it.

* Give yourself a Christmas present and pay a professional cleaner to give your house the kind of gleam that you can’t. A four-hour clean-up could be as cheap as $100. Ask friends for the name of a good cleaner, or go through a reputable agency or franchise.

* Treat house guests as you would like to be treated. Prepare the house for the onslaught – order in extra rolls of loo paper, nibbles and drinks. Have some folding chairs on hand to accommodate all the extra bottoms.

* Keep Christmas decorations to one simple colour scheme – green and red, white and silver, white and red.

* Feel free to get in the spirit and put Christmas lights all over your house. But take care on ladders – never climb higher than four rungs from the top and keep both feet on a rung with your hips centred between the uprights.

* Don’t be conned into spending loads of dosh on a gorgeous Christmas tree – you could even just bring a favourite pot plant inside and splash it with a few stylish baubles and place gifts under it.

* A Christmas table groaning with yummy food and good cheer looks the best. Don’t worry about what the style Nazis have to say. Enjoy.


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RENOVATOR: The quick Christmas house makeover, originally published in The Australian Women’s Weekly, December 2005 By Alex May Dear Santa Please can I sit on your lap and ask you some questions. Does your sleigh have enough capacity to deliver the Christmas present list that my children, four-year-old Captain Costume and his sidekick brother Cuddleboy have devised? Can you save my sanity when my sister-in-law, her husband and their five kids from Perth come to stay for three nights? Why was I stupid enough to say “yes” to hosting Christmas lunch for 25 people? Santa, please help a frazzled working mother who wants to impress relatives with Martha Stewart-esque stylish interiors. Also want to ensure everyone has a lovely Christmas Day without ever realizing how stressful the entire gig was for me. Regards, Alex Dear Alex Santa’s good at pressies, not domestics. Please see letter from my close personal friend. Love, Santa PS: Captain Costume’s request for a Buzz Lightyear suit AND a Ninja Turtle costume will be denied on the basis that he already has far too many polyester outfits. Dear Alex The Domestic Fairy is here. Santa asked me to drop you a note to remind you Christmas isn’t a time of stress. It is a time of goodwill, cheer and love. I did you the good favour of calling up someone who makes houses look magazine-perfect. Interiors stylist Megan Morton is a dab hand at making houses look, well, better than yours. She says it takes half a day to transform a house from crumpled and rumpled to stylish and lovely. The key is to de-clutter. Not just your normal tidying, my love, but a good clear-up. Megan suggests tidying up all the signs of real life: the TV guide, the ironing basket, the remote controls, the calendar, the unpaid bill reminders. Put all those nasty drudgerous things away until after Christmas. Edit out the real life so you can get yourself in the zone to enjoy the holidays. Melbourne-based interior decorator Pauline Forde offers her own tips for an efficient Christmas clean-up: simply take all papers, mess, CDs you hate listening to and store them in those neat paper carrier bags that some stores still give out. Stash everything under the bed until you have time to sort it out after Christmas. Once the de-clutter is done, have Captain Costume and Cuddleboy help decorate a Christmas tree. Do beware of over-zealous application of baubles at a height below 1.2m. Help from taller people is a must during family tree-decorating moments. Ensure treasured home-made Christmas ornaments have pride of place, even if they don’t match the colour scheme. The glamourous Pauline suggests keeping Christmas colour schemes simple. Silver and white is her favourite. She also says you can create your own home-made tree by filling a heavy ceramic vase with curly twigs and tying on your own glass and silver baubles. Simply pop it on a lamp table and surround it with gifts. Megan’s decorating tip includes placing Christmas wreathes in unexpected places like the top of the stairs and on the pantry door. With tips like these, who needs Martha Stewart and her jailbird ways? When many guests descend on your humble home, it’s best to have your welcoming face on. Don’t ever let on how frazzled you really are. Not all guests expect their own bedroom, and most houses can’t easily squeeze in five kids plus parents. Put as many children as possible into one bedroom. They don’t mind the cram. Give adults as much room as space permits. If you don’t have a guest room for your sister, screen off an area behind a sofa to create a space. Buy some adhesive Velcro dots and attach some to the ceiling and the rest to a large sheet to create a makeshift screen. Give your visitors their own towel and handsoap, just like a hotel would. Go one step further and leave them a street directory, a bus timetable and a spare set of house keys. That might encourage them to be out of the house as much as possible, thereby minimizing the risk of them finding you crying into your tea towel. Now, for the big day of Christmas feasting. Feeding large groups of people is difficult. Where to get a table big enough? Sometimes merging an outdoor table setting with your indoor dining setting will create enough space. You can hire trestle tables from catering companies and set something up in the backyard. Or you could choose to serve the meal buffet style on a large central table and allow your guests to mingle and find a seat somewhere in the house. Just make sure there are enough seats for everyone. Uncle John does not want to have to resort to the toilet seat to eat his turkey. Megan suggests banning the idea of a kids’ table and allow grown-ups and children to eat together and enjoy Christmas. I don’t think Megan has seen Captain Costume and Cuddleboy eat recently. However, to avoid too much adult-children contact, try organizing a kids’ game of backyard cricket while the adults indulge in Christmas cocktails on the front verandah. Oh, Alex. I do hope these tips help you to remember what Christmas is all about. Just try to get someone else to do the dishes this year. Lots of love, the Domestic Fairy A QUICK CHRISTMAS HOUSE MAKEOVER * A Christmas clean-up is in order. Put everything that you don’t use away – mess is easily stored in boxes or bags and put in the garage until Christmas capers are over. Stash mess now. Sort it later. * Sugar soap is your friend. No need to bother with a new paint job, just clean your grubby living room and kitchen walls. Transform the exterior of your house by scrubbing the façade with a hard-bristled broom and a bucket of water with sugar soap in it. * Give yourself a Christmas present and pay a professional cleaner to give your house the kind of gleam that you can’t. A four-hour clean-up could be as cheap as $100. Ask friends for the name of a good cleaner, or go through a reputable agency or franchise. * Treat house guests as you would like to be treated. Prepare the house for the onslaught – order in extra rolls of loo paper, nibbles and drinks. Have some folding chairs on hand to accommodate all the extra bottoms. * Keep Christmas decorations to one simple colour scheme – green and red, white and silver, white and red. * Feel free to get in the spirit and put Christmas lights all over your house. But take care on ladders – never climb higher than four rungs from the top and keep both feet on a rung with your hips centred between the uprights. * Don’t be conned into spending loads of dosh on a gorgeous Christmas tree – you could even just bring a favourite pot plant inside and splash it with a few stylish baubles and place gifts under it. * A Christmas table groaning with yummy food and good cheer looks the best. Don’t worry about what the style Nazis have to say. Enjoy.